Gary Thomas has said that the purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Of course, a side benefit of marriage is companionship, shared experiences, and—many times—true happiness. But that’s not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to make us like Jesus. We don’t get to the final day on our own. Marriage is one of God’s good means to sanctify us and bring us safely home.
Laura bought two books about marriage relationships this week-end. Bringing out the best in your Wife and Bringing out the best in your Husband by H.N. Wright, translated into Romanian. And of course, I have to read my bit. We started together. Now, in my book, Wright mentions an old, well known story for most. It was new to me. I’ve checked the story online and was quite surprised to see that there is also a movie about it, Johnny Lingo (1969).
Like always, I will share this story here, hoping that someone will benefit from it.
During a trip to Atlanta I read an article in Reader’s Digest. I made a copy of it and have kept it in my heart and mind ever since. It was the story of Johnny Lingo, a man who lived in the South Pacific. The islanders all spoke highly of this man, but when it came time for him to find a wife the people shook their heads in disbelief. In order to obtain a wife you paid for her by giving her father cows. Four to six cows was considered a high price. But the woman Johnny Lingo chose was plain, skinny and walked with her shoulders hunched and her head down. She was very hesitant and shy. What surprised everyone was Johnny’s offer he gave eight cows for her! Everyone chuckled about it, since they believed his father-in-law put one over on him.
Several months after the wedding, a visitor from the U.S. came to the islands to trade and heard the story about Johnny Lingo and his eight-cow wife. Upon meeting Johnny and his wife the visitor was totally taken back, since this wasn’t a shy, plain and hesitant woman but one who was beautiful, poised and confident. The visitor asked about the transformation, and Johnny Lingo’s response was very simple. “I wanted an eight-cow woman, and when I paid that for her and treated her in that fashion, she began to believe that she was an eight cow woman. She discovered she was worth more than any other woman in the islands. And what matters most is what a woman thinks about herself.”
Bringing Out the Best in Your Wife, H. Norman Wright
Îmi plac ăștia doi de numa… Johnny și Chachi. Ce sfaturi…criminale. La propriu. Killer tips, “sfaturi criminale”… Că este vorba de propria căsnicie, viața personală de rugăciune, comunitatea în care trăiești… Nu te lăsa ciuruit…
Have you ever considered the fact that every word you say—every word—has the power to either hurt or heal?
You may think I exaggerate the power of words. A misspoken word here, a sarcastic quip there can hardly hurt a marriage, you think. When your mate makes a snide comment about the burnt toast at breakfast, it can’t be held against you if you snipe back that he never seems to notice when his toast is made to perfection. Tit for tat can’t do harm. Right? Think again.